How body dysmorphia impacts my pregnancy journey

In this post, I wanted to share what my experience is like with my body image while being pregnant, because there are certain things coming up for me that I didn't quite anticipate. We are given so many narratives throughout our lives as female people about what our body should look like and how we should feel about our body. And so this YouTube video is a little different than the other YouTube videos that I do. Usually they're more educational. You're just gonna be inside my head for this one, y'all. I, I'm about seven months pregnant now with pregnancy.

WATCH FULL YOUTUBE VIDEO RIGHT HERE - https://youtu.be/nJFqoBEzX5I

Some things that are, some, some things are triggering me, like my hips widening and gaining weight. So all I, all I see is like my body growing, not being able to fit into clothes, um, you know, nor normal things that should happen during pregnancy. And it's triggering for me, and a as I'll get into, I, I think it's okay to be triggered in this way. And then we have this idea and this fear that I'll never get my body back, right. Um, that I'll never bounce back. And I think there's a lot of pressure on postpartum mothers too, to bounce back. In fact, the fitness industry dedicates an entire marketing strategy around bounce back culture. And it is so very toxic. I know that up here, but back here in that little reptilian brainstem, I don't know that so well. And I feel fear and, you know, it's, it's triggering me to think that, you know, I I am less beautiful than I once was, that I am less marketable than I once was in terms of like, fitness, nutrition, hormones, stuff like that.

Um, and at the same time, I can hold my truth. What I've gone through up until this point and to right now, and through pregnancy and birth and postpartum, is just going to add to my story. And that I hold as, as truth and reality. So this is how I'm dealing with it. I'm not trying to change the inner dialogue right now. That is a passing thought. And let that thought pass through, right? Meditation practice at its fights. I think when we engage in like trying to struggle with our inner dialogue, we create more friction, more internal, mental, emotional friction that then works against us. So as

I'm, as I'm faced with these triggers, looking at myself in the mirror and thinking that I look less beautiful, I'm not holding that as fact, nor am I like, no, omega. You have to tell yourself you're beautiful. A pregnant body is beautiful. And then another thing that I'm doing, which I think is really powerful, is questioning where those ideas come from. And so we have so much media influence coming to us as women. Like we should believe that our pregnant body is beautiful, but immediately after we give birth, we have to bounce back, right? Or we won't be as beautiful or, or we'll be the frumpy mom. And I, I think there's power in questioning where those narratives come from. Who is telling me that I'm less beautiful because my hips are whiter. Now <laugh>, you know, it's, it's, it's not me. It's not my essence.

My essence is, uh, loving that I'm gonna become a mom. My essence is loving this transition as, as a human being, as a biological woman that gets to create life, birth life, and raise this life. And that is, that is my ultimate truth. So when it comes to the way my body looks, even with these past body dysmorphic tendencies, like the way my body looks is the least important and least interesting thing, the way my body functions is most important. <laugh>, you know, the way I give birth is important to me. And the way that I, the way that I feel in my body is important to me. I feel like it's getting hard to tie my shoes also. Um, but that, I think that's a part of the journey from maidenhood to motherhood. And I think it's important that we don't, you know, discredit the emotional experience that we have around the physical journey of our body changing from maiden to mother. That's the inside of my head. And if you got something out of this or you relate to it, let me know in the comments below if this has been relatable for you. Um, it might not be, but if it is, I'm, I see you baby. I see.